A concussion’s Catch-22

My waking thoughts were thinking of if I should think. Although such thoughts feel distant today, had I not kept a journal, I would not have realized the number of days I struggled like that.

Falling into what felt like a catch-22, of needing to use my brain to figure out how to fix it yet by doing so, I would cause symptoms to appear.

In the end, these were my solutions.

  1. Seek help. 

“You tried for a year and where are you now?”

Still lost, still hurt, it made me pause. In the sport doctor’s office was the first time I realized my fault. It sank in that I didn’t know what I was doing anymore. So I sat down and listened.

  1. Let go.

I accepted my current state of possibly never becoming who I wanted to be. It had been more than a year since the accident and after missing my objectives to improve so many times, it was scary… yet quite intriguing that I was losing the mind that I was so proud of.

I contemplated this for the rest of the trip that I had set off on for my recovery. It felt like a purge of ego that got me to appreciate what I can still do.

Also… a king of coming back from injuries-
“Understanding that I didn’t need to fight to be better, giving up on it was when I got better.” -Dominick Cruz

One Reply to “A concussion’s Catch-22”

  1. Rachael says:

    You are a beautiful soul. Caught between strength and struggle, discovering self through honest vulnerability.
    Thank you for sharing your story with us all. So we can have permission to share ours.
    Even the parts that make each day hard.
    I am sure parkour has taught you though,
    that strength is not about knowing how to do it all perfectly with ease,
    but how to overcome the hardest obstacles,
    and failing – falling
    reflecting – analyzing
    then doing it again.

    Love u sis


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